If you have read all my blog posts you will have no doubt seen that I am in fact in an open relationship. Well I can't lie to you guys. Its been hell. To start with my amazing boyfriend of almost a year and a half. For the sake of this post lets call him Tim. So Tim and I are doing great well depending on your view of things. We Skype, text, Facebook, and I think of him constantly. The problem with that is that it only took me about 2 weeks to be so miserable I wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there. I started crying every night, having dreams that would make me miss him so much I was sick. Tim seemed fine, at least that's what he was telling me, he was part of a new boy scout adventure crew and started going to school. Naturally I am always happy when he isn't unhappy. The only problem with that is that I was so miserable I couldn't begin to even pretend I was OK without him. In steps, lets call him Matt, so in steps Matt. I met him online and thought it would be great to have some new friends in town (well sorta from town or at least near).
Matt is so much fun, he is so smart, and well honestly hes cute. So in case you couldn't tell what the dilemma was, here it is. Matt is amazing, and he fills that hole that Tim made when he left me here without him. But I love Tim so much it seems unfair to hang out with Matt so much. Naturally after hanging out a while with Matt (and being in an open relationship) things progressed to a little more than friendship. He kissed me, I kissed him. So per our agreement I told Tim everything about Matt and I. He tells me hes ok with it and he is just glad I'm not so unhappy anymore. I believed him because I have never had any reason to think he wouldn't tell me what hes thinking.
In the end Tim lied and he is upset about it. Now I don't see Matt as much and now I miss both of them. I guess when it comes to guys I just don't really have any idea what I'm doing. I miss Tim so much it hurts and Matt says he misses me. I miss them both.
Well I don't really have a life lesson here yet but I guess its more of a rant today.
x Be Blonde Be Beautiful x
No comments:
Post a Comment